Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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