Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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