I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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