please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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