Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
