She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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