TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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