I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We need to rekindle our bromance
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
