that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
