He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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