Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sorry about my life...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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