I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
