I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
