The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This baby is an asshole
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
