I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
