Do you still have your period?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
