It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
