He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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