oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
