I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's official drugs can't kill me
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think your dad took our porno
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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