I wanna passion pit in your ass
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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