I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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