Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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