What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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