Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i black out too much to be "responsible"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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