I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
