I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize