I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
