I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
