Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
