I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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