I have demons in me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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