i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Randomize