Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
