More tranny stories later!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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