I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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