Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
are you still at the devil's house?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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