I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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