just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
