we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
