It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
