i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
