Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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