Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
