The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
