I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
