i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
