I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize