I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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