Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
