Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I will die if light touches me.
I can text with my tongue
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
