I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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