I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
is it fun? or sober?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
