I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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