I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
