like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
not ubering you a puppy
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
