just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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