Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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