Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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