Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
