I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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