I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
God, I missed his penis.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
