and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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