A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
