i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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